A moment

04Sep11

Dusting off the cobwebs of this blog.

Its been a year in NUS and quickly i’m streaking into year 2.
Time flies doesn’t it?

There are no sagely words, or intelligent words in my mind at the moment. There is a desire to rant, ramble, pour out incessantly into a tirade that is in itself self-defeating and never productive, introspective or pragmatic.

The heart is deceitful.

So often it contradicts the mind in conversation, bickers with the spirit in disagreement and frustrates its owner by painting predicaments that overwhelms and overloads the rationality in a rational individual.

It takes one such individual to reason intelligibly with himself(albeit in a fashion where utterances are only known to the self, so as to avoid alarming onlookers of a man who seems quite mentally infirm) to formulate reasonable plans to maximize productivity.

Yet, there are times where productivity and rationality are ,quite frankly, situationally inept. What is one to do when he finds out he is terminally ill? Maximize his productivity to work his life away? Or rationally decide to save himself the pain of living since the pain of living is otherwise known as a process called dying. What happens when one has no idea why one slogs his brain out in an effort to chase after futile grades, where one’s life is reduced to a mechanical function of producing and making one’s life most economic?

Economy is a concept that is foreign in the condition called death.

There is a concept however called afterlife. Debated by many, disputed incessantly. Some speak of revival in bodies of animals, some seek an ultimate truth to defeat the cycle of death. But there is a particular one where a man, ordinary and plain, claims to be God, a deity, one that knows not of mortality. Multiple accounts of history records that, obnoxious as the claim may be, His body never found, His message widely spread, His words proclaiming a truth and denouncing all that is false. He reminds his ilk of lowly peasants that he calls his disciples that there is a life after death to a place called heaven, to a place beside a God that created this earth if all man repent and stop the ways that are, what the world calls “evil”, “imperfect” or simply “morally incorrect”. He in return gives his Son, this man yet God, Jesus to make up for the imperfections of those sins so that one need make no compensation.

This God i believe in is much greater than an anatomical function or an instinct or emotion from the spirit.
By writing all these, i am clearly once again able to see clearly through His lens to know that even when my heart wanted me to just sit there and torment myself in silence or pour it out to another human, i know still that Jesus is my only reprieve, my only portion, my rock in the midst of the waves. My emotions are temporary, so is my weariness. That in Him, i find a great hope in a rationality to know He is good just as history has shown through his sacrifice. He has consistently been good and will always be good and in that i know and trust God for a better tomorrow, a clearer vision, a mind that has a wisdom not of human origin but divine in nature.

I know You are for me. I know you are with me.

In this time, God i know you are able to help me out of this challenge of everything crumbling on me. Therefore i count on you unreservedly because there is always hope, love and grace in your promises that i may claim by faith.

The only rational thing i can do is say thank you God for your everlasting love and grace.

Advertisement

Filed under: Thoughts   |  1 Comment